As a middle child, I had always had to find ways to stand out. I was a severely underweight child that refused her meals, grew up into a highly intelligent, often rebellious, and high achieving young adult and finally into a non-conformist adult.
What I have found though, is that my need to stand out, and attention, also came with a high price: the need for approval. The rebel within me that said “I don’t care what they think, I know I’m doing what’s right” had big fights with the insecure side of me that asked “What if they stop loving me? What if I don’t belong? What if they don’t accept me?”
As I reflect on that concept I am struck with a harsh reality, striving to be “perfect” only means one thing: not being you. Like Emmit from The Lego Movie, society (including our own standards) is very much boxed and limiting. You are “perfect” only when you belong to a certain age group, gender, social class, career choice, weight, sexual preference, marital status, number of children and so on.
Can you guys imagine how boring life would be if we all tried to be “perfect”? How would we learn to shine? How would we break out of the norm and create, expand and solve? How would we gift the world the joy of being really ourselves?
The need for approval is a fear based concept that is built on “I am not enough”. When you reflect deeply on that concept you will find that you are not awaiting approval from others because they do not approve of you. You are actually awaiting for approval from yourself because you have not yet realized how imperfectly perfect you already are.
Om Shanti, Shanti, Shanti.
Weam is the founder of Namaste. She had started a very deep and intense spiritual journey at a young age having refused to continue to suffer with the common challenges of her generation: depression, anxiety and being lost. She insisted that there must be more to life than the constant rat race she was in