As human beings, we have an internal compass that judges actions as "right" and "wrong". That judgement of action is necessary to keep us aligned with our nature of peace, joy and love.
We get lost when this compass stops judging the action and starts judging the person. We confuse mistakes with the value of the person (us or others), deeming someone worthy or unworthy based on the number and size of mistakes they have made.
This idea of worthiness extends not only to how we treat ourselves or people (how much attention, love, time or even effort we put into the relationship) but also the blessings we believe that (we or) that person is worthy of.
Having transformed radically through this practice, some of my friends often said to me "you just want it all, don't you?". And my answer is "yes, I do". This is a revolutionary answer from someone who spent most of her young adult life loathing herself. I felt unworthy of anything good happening to me and when it did, I subconsciously rejected it, feeling uncomfortable in being blessed when I clearly did not deserve it because to me, I had made mistakes and was now unworthy!
Being a mother taught me that this was not true. My love for my daughter and my desire for her to receive blessings does not depend on how well she behaved that day. And if the love of a mother is a micro version of the love of God then how can God judge us or withdraw his blessings if He loved us?
The way I see it is that our mistakes do not cause God to judge us, or deem us unworthy. Our inability to love ourselves through our mistakes do. The number of prayers, meditations and hail Mary's do not determine how worthy we are of spiritual awakening. Our own understanding of spirituality does. And if God is Love then spirituality is the ability to love. And how can we love when we are busy judging ourselves, and therefore others, as unworthy.
May this year bring you the peace you desire and the love you deserve.
Weam is the founder of Namaste. She had started a very deep and intense spiritual journey at a young age having refused to continue to suffer with the common challenges of her generation: depression, anxiety and being lost. She insisted that there must be more to life than the constant rat race she was in