Arrogance

"Attempting to understand Conciousness with your mind is like trying to illuminate the sun with a candle" Moojj

How fond we are of our minds. We all place a personal value (or lack thereof) on ourselves based on our intellect. "Spiritual" people, myself included are guilty of this too. As soon as I read a concept that resonates with me I add it to my mental library of "things that tell me I now understand, because that makes me feel safer in this confusing world.

Surely, my attention span is too short, mind too restless, and having commitment phobias mean I am constantly changing my mind, reinventing myself every so often to start a new practice or another. And so I never managed to become an "extremist" of any sort, not yet anyway.

But in the end sometimes I think it's all a distraction. Because truth is timeless, it was there before concepts, religions, practices, workshops, books, rituals and ceremony. And if truth is timeless then I'm sure God wouldn't have said "you're not going to know the truth till you practice this and that".

What if there was no more offerings to give, no more mantras to chant, no more verses to recite, no more prayers to say, no more meditations to sit, no more seva to serve, no more books to read, no more alms to give, no more feelings to release, no more malas, bowing, kumkum, insence, embraces or effort?

What if "I" dropped it all in this moment, in my heart of hearts, like my teacher before me, and remembered? What if I remembered where "I" was before this body and mind and where I'm heading after it? What if I went beyond my ideas of "Enlightenment", my "Intelligence" and ideas of who "I am" and held my awareness there. In the silence that comes with meditation but deeper, softer and quiter?