Each one of us has a trigger. Some people feel sad when they feel let down, others feel angry when they feel controlled, other may feel anxiety when they feel abandoned and so on. You can mix and match the triggers with the reactions and the possibilities are endless.
The fact that both the triggers and reactions are different means that the trigger has more to do with the person that is triggered rather than the person who is perceived to trigger. It simply means that we have all taken parts of our pain stories from the past and made them a part of our current identity. This false identity has been created to protect us from future threat of similar pain.
What we ended up with is a mind that imagines those triggers. It fashions scenarios of a similar sorts carried on in the future with different people, at different times and in different settings. This imagination has made us highly sensitive, and at times even paranoid, of ever coming in contact with those triggers. To sheild us from this possible, potential and not probable pain, we have built walls around our hearts.
But when we build walls around our hearts nothing comes in, and nothing goes out. Yet we long to feel complete, so we seek in others to make us feel secure, accepted, respected and so on. When we meet someone who can fill the "gap" of where we have closed our hearts we love and grow attached. When this same person shows the slightest sign of "taking" this feeling we crave away we condemn, judge and might even hate.
Remaining open is the only way out. Realising that the part of us that is hurt is the scared part of us that can be reassured and healed. Knowing that closing is a price too high to pay for false protection, even from the deepest of pains. Our nature is open and loving, anything away from that will be more painful than any experience can bring us.
Weam is the founder of Namaste. She had started a very deep and intense spiritual journey at a young age having refused to continue to suffer with the common challenges of her generation: depression, anxiety and being lost. She insisted that there must be more to life than the constant rat race she was in