I'm one of those people that feel that in order to feel accomplished I have to conquer every challenge that is thrown my way. This means that I would work till I could work no longer, I would attend all the functions I could and I most definitely wouldn't ask for help in the process.
This meant that as time went by, I did less and less of what I loved (apart from work) and took less and less care of myself.
But what shook me the most was that I was suddenly becoming fascinated by human kindness. It fascinated me because all my hours spent outside of my time teaching, I felt restless, rushed and agitated.
And I knew that this fascination I had with how people took the time to listen to one another, to help one another and to spend leisurely time enjoying each other's company came from a deep longing.
This longing came because my mind, in its endless movement and seeking, stood between me and my very excellent ability to flow with the rhythm of life. I knew that I was able to function very efficiently and be nourished when I slowed down, when I didn't spread myself too thin. And yet I kept getting in my own way.
I had to awaken a side of me that sounds firm and sure that says "no" at the expense of approval and self validation to a desperate "yes" that knows that life is about the little moments of being there for someone, being present enough to look at clouds, have the time to color with your daughter, mindfully make your breakfast or leave your phone behind when you walk your dog.
After years of being unable to slow down I promised myself to focus on what will really matter in the end: being kind, being loved and loving in return.