It was apparent to me that I have spent many years taming my mind and retraining it to become more quiet and skillful. This in turn created enough space and stillness within me that opened me up to many possibilities and joys. Yet all of those on the path of spirituality know that it is a constant process of peeling layers of ourselves moving towards the center. And although I had a mind that no longer scared me nor controlled me the way it did before. Something was missing.
This reminded me of the journey that Mawlana Jaluldin AlRumi, a respected scholar, went through right before he met his teacher, Shams, who actively moved him away from rationalizing judgments and moretowards feeling his experiences by opening his heart, and that’s how the mystic poet was born.
A month spent on opening the heart showed me potential of what can be achieved when we love unconditionally, without expectations. It showed me the selfish joy being selfless can bring. Having been nurtured by the place I was in and the people I was around, I felt so full of love I had to overflow. And with eyes full of wonder I kept seeking my next “fix”, my next opportunity to love human beings for no reason other than the recognition of our oneness.
It also showed me my demons, that acts of love done with impatience and irritation bring nothing to the giver nor the receiver. That external acts of kindness do not bring the same kind of joy when done out of duty or concepts of what “should be done” rather than a spontaneous and joyous outpour of affection.
This may sound like a simple question that remains unanswered: we all know that nothing brings more joy than giving from a place of love. Why do we then shy away from the endless opportunities to be in that place?
Om Shanti, Shanti, Shanti.
Metta Always, Weam